Starting college can feel like entering a whole new world. You’re surrounded by new faces, each one offering the possibility of friendship, collaboration, or just a friendly hello between classes. But how do you go about actually making those connections? As someone who's been there, let me walk you through some realistic, practical ways to build meaningful relationships in college. You don’t need to be super outgoing or have a big personality. It’s about being genuine and making small efforts. Let's break it down, point by point.
1. Start Small and Be Approachable
It’s tempting to want to connect with a lot of people right away, but you don’t have to force it. Start by just being approachable. Think of the simple things—smiling when you pass by someone, making small talk with the person sitting next to you, or simply acknowledging people. These tiny actions make a big difference.
Example:
During my first semester, I noticed a guy who always sat next to me in the library. At first, we didn’t talk. One day, I just asked him if he knew when the next assignment was due, and that started a conversation. Now, we still study together occasionally. It all started with a small question.
Why This Works:
Being approachable creates opportunities for others to connect with you. College can feel intimidating for everyone, so by making the first move—even if it’s just a small one—you lower the social barrier for others to engage with you.
You don't have to be the life of the party. Just be open, genuine, and approachable, and connections will naturally start to form.
2. Join Clubs, Societies, or Study Groups
If you're looking for an easy way to meet people who share your interests, joining clubs or societies is a great option. Whether you’re into sports, books, coding, or anime, there’s usually a group for that. Study groups are also an underrated way to form connections because they allow you to spend focused time with others who share the same academic goals.
Example:
I was never a fan of big gatherings, so I joined a small movie appreciation club on campus. It wasn’t anything big—just about 10 people meeting every Friday to discuss films. Through those weekly meetups, I ended up becoming good friends with two members who shared my love for film. We still chat about new releases and even hang out outside of the club.
Why This Works:
In clubs and study groups, you’re all there for the same reason. It’s less awkward because you already have a shared interest to talk about. Plus, since you meet regularly, it gives you more chances to build a rapport over time. Joining these groups can be a low-pressure way to start conversations and form friendships.
You don’t have to sign up for everything—just pick one or two that genuinely interest you. That way, you’ll meet people who actually have something in common with you.
3. Be Consistent—Show Up Regularly
One of the most underrated tips for building connections is simple: show up. Whether it’s for a club meeting, group project, or just a casual hangout, consistency is key. When people see you regularly, they start to feel more comfortable around you. And when you show that you’re reliable, people are more likely to want to work with or spend time with you.
Example:
There was this guy in my biology class who sat in the same spot every time. Over a few weeks, I noticed that we started chatting more and more before the lecture started. By the end of the semester, we were study buddies. It wasn’t like we planned to become friends; it just happened because we saw each other regularly.
Why This Works:
Consistency builds trust. People begin to feel like they can rely on you, even in small ways. Whether it’s just showing up for class or attending club meetings, your presence makes it easier for relationships to grow naturally.
In a college environment, where schedules are often packed and people are juggling different things, being that consistent person in someone’s life can really help deepen a connection.
4. Help Others Without Expecting Anything in Return
This one’s pretty straightforward: help people when you can. Whether it’s sharing notes, offering to study together, or giving someone a ride to class, helping others creates a positive bond. The key is not expecting anything in return. Helping just because you want to builds goodwill and often leads to meaningful connections.
Example:
Once, someone in my class missed a few lectures because they were sick. I noticed they weren’t doing too well and offered to share my notes. It wasn’t a big deal to me, but that simple act of helping led to us becoming friends. Later on, we ended up working on group projects together, and they were always there to help me out in return.
Why This Works:
People remember kindness. When you help others without expecting anything, you create a foundation of trust. In college, everyone’s trying to figure things out, and by helping someone, you’re showing that you care about their success too.
Whether it’s helping with academic stuff or just being there to listen, offering support goes a long way in building genuine connections.
5. Be Open to Diverse Perspectives
College is full of people from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences. One of the best ways to build connections is by being open to those differences. You might not always agree with everyone, but being respectful and willing to understand different viewpoints makes you more approachable and opens the door to deeper conversations.
Example:
I once got paired up for a group project with someone whose political views were completely different from mine. At first, it felt a bit awkward, but instead of avoiding the topic, we had a respectful discussion about our beliefs. By the end of the project, we didn’t agree on everything, but we had built mutual respect and actually learned from each other.
Why This Works:
When you show that you’re open to listening and learning from others, people feel more comfortable being themselves around you. This openness can lead to stronger, more meaningful relationships because it’s based on mutual understanding rather than just common interests.
You don’t have to agree with everyone, but staying open to learning from different perspectives will help you connect with more people on a deeper level.
6. Take Initiative and Organize Small Hangouts
Don’t always wait for others to invite you to things—sometimes, you have to take the initiative. Whether it’s organizing a study session, a casual meetup at a coffee shop, or even planning a small movie night, being the one who takes the lead can help you build connections.
Example:
During exam season, I realized a few classmates were struggling with the same topic, so I suggested a group study session at the library. It wasn’t a huge event, but we all came together to help each other out. That little initiative sparked some good friendships, and we even planned more study sessions later on.
Why This Works:
By taking the lead, you show that you’re interested in getting to know others and that you’re reliable. People appreciate when someone makes an effort, and being the one who organizes something—even if it’s small—puts you on their radar as someone they’d want to hang out with again.
It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Even suggesting a group lunch after class or a study meetup before exams can help you connect with people in a low-pressure way.
7. Be Yourself and Avoid Trying Too Hard
This is probably the most important point. College can feel like a time when you have to fit in, but the truth is, the best connections come when you’re just being yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress people. The right connections will happen naturally if you’re genuine.
Example:
In my first year, I tried to join a bunch of clubs because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do to make friends. But I quickly realized that I didn’t actually enjoy half of them. I started focusing more on things I genuinely liked, and that’s when I began meeting people who I actually connected with.
Why This Works:
People can sense when you’re being authentic, and that’s what they’re drawn to. If you’re constantly trying to mold yourself to fit in with different groups, it can be exhausting and lead to shallow connections. Instead, be honest about what you like, what you don’t, and who you are.
The right people will come into your life when you’re being true to yourself. It might take some time, but those connections will be far more meaningful.
8. Maintain Your Connections Over Time
Building a connection is one thing, but maintaining it is just as important. College is busy, and people come and go, but if you make an effort to keep in touch—whether through a quick message, meeting up occasionally, or working on projects together—you can keep those connections alive.
Example:
After a group project ended, I made an effort to keep in touch with one of my group members by grabbing lunch together every once in a while. It wasn’t anything formal, but just checking in from time to time helped maintain that connection. Now, we’re good friends even though we don’t have classes together anymore.
Why This Works:
People appreciate when you make an effort to keep them in your life. Even a simple text to check in or a quick coffee meet-up can go a long way in maintaining a connection. College is a time when everyone’s schedules are packed, so being that person who reaches out can make all the difference.
Maintaining relationships doesn’t have to be hard. Just stay in touch, be there when you can, and those connections will stay strong even as college life gets busier.
Final Thoughts
Building effective connections in college doesn’t have to be complicated or stressful. It’s about being genuine, taking small steps, and making an effort to connect with people who share your interests or values. By being open, consistent, and approachable, you’ll naturally form connections that can last well beyond your college years.
Additional Resources:
- Check out the subreddit r/College for discussions on making friends and navigating college life.
- Quora has various threads on how to network in college and balance social life.
Remember, it’s not about quantity; it’s about quality. So take your time, be yourself, and those meaningful connections will follow!
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